How do we judge sports?

We mostly gravitate toward certain sports for three main reasons:

How fun are they to play or participate in?
How entertaining are they to watch?
How “cool” are the star athletes in that sport?

For the purpose of judging a sport’s sexiness, I think it’s only fair to focus on the third category — its star athletes. Because for most of us, people are easier to link to sexual feelings than abstract feelings like fun or entertainment. We do this naturally by supporting and participating in sports that have been dominated by athletes who inspire us — or who we find attractive in one way or another.

We can see the scope of this play out in the popularity of different sports in our culture. Star athletes in football, baseball, and basketball pull in millions of viewers and participants every year.

Notice how I said watch and participate. The sexiest sports tend to be both fun to watch and desirable to participate in — though most lean toward being better to spectate. After all, many of them are too physical or intense for most people to casually jump into.

So, if the sexiest sports are fun to watch and play, then the least sexy sports are the ones people love to participate in — but rarely watch.

Which raises the question: Why do we participate in sports we find boring to watch, with no major star athletes to idolize?

A few reasons:

1. Access – A lot of the sports we love to watch require huge teams, expensive gear, and large spaces to play. Think about trying to casually set up a football game or a hockey match. Most of us don’t have that kind of setup. Bowling alleys, on the other hand, are everywhere.

2. Laziness – Let’s be honest, most of us aren’t trying to get tackled, dunked on, or sprint up and down a field on a Saturday night. Some sports just demand more physical effort than we’re willing to give for a casual hangout. Bowling? Minimal effort, minimal sweat, and you can do it with a beer in one hand (in fact, I bowl better this way). It’s the sport equivalent of sweatpants — cozy, familiar, and zero pressure. But sexy? I don’t know.

3. Focus – Some people are drawn to the meditative side of sports. The repetition, the individual skill, the quiet pursuit of a perfect game. Bowling thrives in those moments — when it’s just you, the lane, and that one stubborn pin. But this kind of concentration doesn’t exactly scream excitement. It's less “adrenaline rush,” more “calm Sunday morning puzzle.”

So, where does that leave bowling?

Bowling is everywhere. It’s in small towns, suburbs, cities. It’s in birthday parties, company outings, and awkward first dates. It’s approachable, it’s inexpensive, and it requires next to no athleticism. In fact, over 67 million people bowl at least once in the United States every year. But despite how often people bowl, a bowling alley is still “the least sexual place I can think of,” according to Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City.

Let’s break it down:

The fashion? Rental shoes and oversized, embroidered shirts. Horrible looks on most, sure. But definitively unsexy? I’m not sold.
The vibe? Dim lighting, sticky floors, the smell of nacho cheese in the air, and someone’s toddler screaming from lane six. Dim lighting sounds sexy to me…
The icons? Quick — name five professional bowlers. Can’t do it? Thank God. If you could, you’re most likely not very sexy. Sorry, I didn’t choose the bowling life for you — maybe blame your divorced dad.

Rental shoes from my local bowling alley looking stylish as ever.

There’s a lovable awkwardness to bowling. It doesn’t try too hard. It’s silly, it’s social, and it doesn't need flash to be fun. But that’s also exactly why it’ll never be notorious for being sexy. Bowling is the cargo shorts of sports — functional, comfortable, and not turning any heads.

And maybe that’s okay.

Not every sport needs to be flashy and hot and Instagrammable. Some things are just meant to be easy, low-stakes, and fun. Bowling might be the least sexy sport in the world — and that might just be its biggest strength.

This is where the conversation should probably end — and where I would have ended it, if I hadn’t joined a bowling league.

Out of the 67 million people that go bowling in the U.S. every year, 1.2 million participate in a USBC-certified league. I became one of them.

In my bowling journey, I saw pretty much what you'd expect in a small-town league: bad tattoos, mind-blowingly poor fashion choices, heartbreaking male pattern baldness, and of course, ugly bowling shoes. For the first few weeks, all I saw was a room full of people who, in my mind, weren’t particularly “cool.” Not necessarily uncool, just... not people I aspired to be like. But even surrounded by fashion disasters and general awkwardness, I still couldn’t definitively say that bowling itself wasn’t sexy.

So I ran a little test.

Every week, I had my friends film me bowling and sent the clips to a cute blonde girl I’d recently matched with on Hinge. Her reactions? A consistent stream of “that’s kinda hot ngl” and similar vibes. She wasn’t kidding either — she meant it. Unfortunately, that’s about as far as things went with her (maybe fortunately — who the f*ck thinks bowling is hot?). But that little experiment gave me the final answer I was looking for.

Yes, bowling as a sport is unsexy. Most pro bowlers aren’t conventionally attractive. The vibe of most bowling alleys leans hard into "daycare meets dive bar." And, sure, Carrie Bradshaw isn’t wrong — it’s not the sexiest place to flirt, although a bowling date did quickly lead into sex in the show, and I would say chemistry can be discovered anywhere… anyways.

Here’s the real truth: Being sexy has nothing to do with the sport you're playing.

It’s about confidence. It’s about not giving a f*ck. It’s about showing up to that dim, sticky-laned alley with ugly shoes on and throwing strikes like you were born to do it. It’s about owning your space, even if your “space” smells like body odor, old fry oil, and Coors Light.

The sexiest people aren’t sexy because they’re playing sexy sports — they’re sexy because they don’t care if they are.

Because real confidence — especially the kind that doesn’t need validation is the only form of sex appeal worth a damn.

So go ahead: join a league. Rock the polyester. Roll the ball. Be unsexy with conviction. Just because most bowlers aren’t sexy doesn’t mean you can’t be a sexy bowler.

Story and Photos by Calvin Merrill

May 25th, 2025

Is Bowling really the least sexy sport?